


Gasps

by BladedDarkness



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-08 01:10:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1920975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BladedDarkness/pseuds/BladedDarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loving Regina Mills is like nothing Emma has ever known.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gasps

Loving Regina Mills is like nothing Emma has ever known.

It's infuriating.

There's bickering and sharp words and a lot of eye-rolling on Regina's part before grudging acceptance.

It's passionate.

There's kisses so intense, that when Regina looks at Emma afterward, flushed and pupils dilated, Emma can hardly stop herself.

It's affectionate.

There's happy smiles and fingers carding through hair and this, Emma thinks, is what home looks like, what family must feel like. 

It's breathtaking.

There's nothing, to Emma, like watching how Regina now so easily moves amongst old enemies, laughing and smiling, greeting them.

It's heartbreaking.

Because these things are reserved for others: Snow, Robin, Henry, Storybrooke. And Emma is alone, watching with a watery smile and taking secret moments in the dark of the loft with soft, crying gasps, and tears she wipes away so desperately while trembling.

Emma can't even pinpoint when it happened, much less how. But loving Regina Mills hurts somewhere between the love and loss of Neal and the love and loss of Henry, when they were all so terrified that the turnover was the end of it all.

Sometimes she wonders if it's supposed to feel like this. Is this what Regina feels when she thinks of loving Emma? Does Regina feel it?

She doesn't. 

She can't, Emma knows. 

She can't, because Regina smiles with her head tucked against Robin's shoulder as they stroll down the streets of Storybrooke, greeting the townspeople they pass. Henry is under her other arm, the one not wrapped around Robin's elbow, and if he's just a little too tall for it to be comfortable, neither complain. And Roland is holding Henry's hand, little grin on his face as he stares up at his three favorite people. 

Roland, who likes everybody, even those who were once the flying monkeys that terrorized him. 

Roland, who finds Emma and her badge intimidating.

(Emma blames Robin for that. The little guy loves David and he's her deputy.)

So she knows Regina can't feel for Emma the way Emma feels for Regina. Because Regina is happy and Emma gets just a little happiness knowing that, even if she's not the one responsible. 

Loving Regina Mills is like nothing Emma has ever known.

It's pretending she doesn't.


End file.
